


Blade Unbroken

by Raewyll



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/M, ackerhistory, ackerpaths, canon-divergence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-28
Updated: 2020-10-14
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:28:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26164147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Raewyll/pseuds/Raewyll
Summary: Curious things start to happen when a mysterious woman enters Mikasa's dreams, showing her things that she couldn't have seen yet somehow feel strangely familiar. For information regarding spoilers, please check the author's note at the start of the first chapter.
Relationships: Mikasa Ackerman/Levi
Comments: 54
Kudos: 83





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Writer's block is still going and the suffering is very much real, so I wanted to try dragging myself out of it by writing something not too fancy but still very much plot-driven. Feel free to share your thoughts if you'd like, all form of feedback is appreciated! Rating might change later but if it does, the chapter will be marked and a warning will be posted.
> 
> Warnings regarding SPOILERS: nothing at the moment, but honestly, I think I might leave this one up to the people who are following the manga or don't mind running into small/circumstantial spoilers later on.

**~ Chapter 1 ~**

**_Somewhere in the mountains South of Wall Rose_ **

Kissing him wasn’t something she had planned in advance.

In fact, she couldn’t even recall how the thought had wormed its way into her head, yet it had taken root and had very much refused to leave until the proposition had been fulfilled.

For a moment, she couldn’t even remember herself. She had completely forgotten everything except the feeling of his lips against hers, the intimacy of the moment taking absolute hold of her.

Then she heard the cheering – and she suddenly felt reality come crashing down upon her head.

What on earth had happened?

They had been camping in the mountains – the Captain and his team taking some time for a well-earned rest. They had reminisced about the good old days around the fire, with Captain Levi mostly frowning and refusing to share his own experiences, no matter how much they begged and prodded, but the whole thing was, without a doubt, childishly innocent.

They had talked about many things, things Mikasa couldn’t quite remember in the heat of the moment, and the next thing she knew was that she had woken in his arms, body locked in a tight embrace and his lips joined with hers.

And to make things worse, he had seemed just as confused, just as the rest of their company huddled around the fire, looking equally flabbergasted, with Connie and Sasha being the ones to recover the fastest.

“Go get ‘im, Mikasa,” Connie chanted, pushing his fists into the air, his cheers accompanied by Sasha’s loud and melodic whistle.

She couldn’t tear her eyes from him and he seemed to have been fighting the same predicament.

“I, uh…” she stammered, trying to find a reasonable explanation for everything that happened. “I told you everyone would be surprised,” she managed to declare, her voice still somewhat throaty and her confusion undoubtedly visible.

“Yeah,” he said, or more like, breathed, probably still unable to wrap his head around how she had come to be seated on his lap, their body entangled.

Gaining a bit of courage from her previous statement, Mikasa glanced at the people around them. This could work, she thought. “I win, then,” she stated, trying her best to fake an air of confidence, although she noticed somewhere in the middle that she still had her arms wrapped around his neck.

“Yeah,” he murmured, voice not much different.

She heard someone clearing their throat and she soon heard the voice of Jean, the reasonable one, trying to make sense of what had just happened. “You really had us on the edge of our seats there for a moment, Mikasa,” he spoke, trying to laugh the whole thing off.

“Oh come on,” Connie interrupted, “I’m not buying that it was fake.”

“Do as you wish,” Mikasa shrugged, finally gaining enough composure to withdraw her hands, although she had to remind herself not to do it all of a sudden. Dusting her pants a little, she pushed herself to her feet, finally breaking the lover’s embrace she had been locked in for… who knows how many minutes. “I’m calling it a night,” she said, stretching her arms ahead of her.

“So soon?” Sasha asked, clearly disappointed.

“Yeah, I feel like I could do with some sleep,” she mused, glancing towards the tents.

“But you haven’t even eaten!” Sasha exclaimed, now surprised.

“Ah,” Mikasa spoke, trying hard to come up with a quick and unsuspicious excuse. She could’ve sworn that they had already finished dinner. Or was that… the day before? “I’m not really hungry.”

Well, that excuse might’ve been the wrong one, because right now, she could no longer escape the suspicious glares pointed at her.

She needed to make her escape, and she needed to make it fast. “Good night,” she said, shrugging.

Now… there was only one question left.

Which one was her tent again?

~ ¤ ~

_She was freezing. The cold chilled her to the bone and winds ripped at her very soul as she pressed on, relentless in her conquest. The snow below her feet drenched her boots, making her muscles numb and her joints ache with soreness. Yet she knew she needed to press on, she knew, because there was nothing else waiting for her out there._

_Here, on the top of the world, hanging by a thread between life and death, she only had one mission left for her to complete._

_But what could she do?_

_She was but a broken sword._

_A broken life._

_A broken promise._

Mikasa woke with a start, clutching her sheets to her chest with a grip so strong that she could feel the fabric ripping inside her grasp.

With sweat dripping down her temples, she felt cold and exhausted.

What had she been dreaming about?

She could no longer remember.

~ ¤ ~

They had spent the next few days in peaceful avoidance. Mikasa helped Sasha hunt down a wild boar in the wilderness while Levi remained at camp. In fact, Connie had taken it into his head that he would teach the Captain how to fish, although the end results remained somewhat… questionable, with Levi deeming fishes in general ‘disgusting slimy creatures’.

It probably didn’t help that Connie had once slapped him across the head with a particularly large catfish for reasons undisclosed, to which the Captain had reportedly responded by hauling his soldier into the lake with his bare hands.

While this had given her ample time and opportunity to sort things out in her head regarding the… well, _occurrence_ , Mikasa found herself coming up short of a reason that could have prompted her to do whatever she had. And the worst thing about it was that she simply _couldn’t remember_.

No, that wasn’t it.

That wasn’t the worst, if she wanted to be honest.

The worst thing was, in fact, that reason and decorum be damned, she wanted to do it again.


	2. Chapter 2

**~ Chapter 2 ~**

**The outskirts of the northernmost district, Galena***

The food was plenty and the tea was pleasantly warm. It took them a while to find an inn willing – no, capable - to accommodate a group of six with all the merchants coming from and going to town. The table in the saloon was too small to provide space for them all, so they ended up pushing two of them together to make room for everyone.

Mikasa, making sure to place her chair as far from the Captain as possible, took it upon herself to make the rounds throughout the evening to the bar and back, balancing tankards on a tray and a kettle or plates of food in her free hand.

“They weren’t joking when they said that this place would be cold,” Jean grumbled, frowning. It seemed like he still hadn’t warmed from their lengthy trip to northernmost parts of the Wall. “Why are we here again, Captain?”

Instead of coming forward instantly with an answer, the Captain simply shrugged before setting down his empty cup. “Mikasa,” he spoke, “can I ask you to bring another one? This tea is cold.”

Mikasa opened her mouth to answer, feeling the warmth emanating from her own drink still locked in her grasp, but decided against it. “Of course,” she said, reacting only with a curt nod. “I will be right back.”

She could tell that he watched her as she left, his eyes never leaving her as she walked to the bar. It’s not like he wanted to say something while she wasn’t there, that much she was certain of. It felt as if he needed more time to gather his thoughts, and by this point, his peculiarity regarding tee was known to anyone - they all knew better than to pester him about it.

She waited patiently for the barmaid to run into the kitchen and return the kettle filled with hot water, so hot that Mikasa knew that Captain would refuse to touch it for the next five minutes or so. Tee wasn’t just a drink for him, it was a ritual, and spilling boiling hot water on those precious leaves was a sin he would never condone.

“Here,” she spoke, rounding the table and settling the kettle in front of him, feeling something ruffle against her clothes. She straightened her posture quickly but a quick glance at him was enough to tell her to stop. Tucked carefully under her belt, there was a message waiting for her, though she couldn’t even begin to guess its contents. What the hell did he want now?

As if nothing had happened, the Captain thanked her and she returned to her seat, waiting for him to finally start answering the question Jean had proposed.

“As you have already been briefed,” he started, tone just the slightest bit reprimanding, “titans have allegedly been sighted outside these Walls. The local branch of the Garrison can neither deny nor confirm these rumours.”

“Yeah, but why _us_?” Connie interrupted, finally laying the question everyone had been pondering out on the table.

The Captain shrugged. “I wanted us to do something different for a change. I’m bored with playing the diplomatic envoy.”

While Mikasa couldn’t exactly say that it didn’t sound somewhat suspicious, she could still understand the sentiment. The Reclamation of Wall Maria was only the first step in preserving humanity, but as Mikasa had found herself stating before, her speciality had always been slicing flesh. Making peace was something she – they – knew very little about.

“So,” Connie asked, “what are we going to do? Play hide and seek with a titan?”

“If there are still stragglers left in these parts,” Armin mused, “they should’ve already been drawn towards the city walls.”

“Or some kid has just done it crying wolf,” Connie shrugged.

“Maybe,” Armin replied, his tone still pensive, “aberrant titans are usually drawn to the largest crowd in their vicinity, but it wouldn’t be the first time for a titan to choose to ignore people altogether.”

“Huh?!”

Connie, Sasha and Jean all grimaced.

”Captain,” Armin spoke again, turning his attention to Captain Levi instead. “Do you remember Ilse Langnar?”

~ ¤ ~

Sasha had been fast asleep by the time Mikasa had finished drying herself after a quick bath. Fishing the small parchment from her pocket, she took one last glance at the Captain’s neatly penned request before leaving the room.

_Meet me downstairs later._

Captain Levi’s sleeping habits had always been terrible but she couldn’t really wrap her head around why he would want to see her at such a late hour. After all, they had been riding all day to reach the outskirts before nightfall.

The _kiss_ came into mind, bringing a blush to her cheeks as usual, but she quickly swatted the thought. It had been more than a week now and neither of them had been willing to bring it up – at least so far. It seemed like they had wordlessly agreed on Mikasa’s quick improvisation that it all had been a bet and mutually tried their best to fall back into pace after the whole… _affair_.

Besides, she had other things to worry about: ever since that night, dreams had been plaguing her, dreams that felt too vivid and restless to be brought on by accident.

Or maybe deciding to steal one’ first kiss _ever_ on the spur of a moment did that to people, but really, who was she to tell?

She could feel a headache coming, so she tried her best to banish the thought back to deepest nooks and crannies of her mind, back where it wouldn’t harm anyone.

~ ¤ ~

He waited there, patiently, counting the seconds that passed by in eerie silence. He could tell that she wasn’t making him wait on purpose, she wasn’t the kind to do that.

“You wanted to talk?” she asked, her voice barely a whisper.

There was no one else there, just the two of them. All the chairs had been lifted on the tables before the floor had been mopped – a gesture that had made Levi seriously reconsider his earlier idea of relocating to the city next day – leaving him with only an edge to lean against.

“Yeah,” he replied, making sure to keep just as quiet as she was. “Look,” he started and he could immediately see her posture stiffen, “I know you don’t know much about your family, but…”

As he kept going, the change in her stance became unmistakeable. Was she afraid that he would try to bring up… well, _that_? That, in all honesty, might’ve been the most reasonable thing to do, but he didn’t really have anything on his side to offer.

How does one explain something, after all, that they can’t even remember?

Well, that wasn’t entirely true. He _did_ remember kissing her, the feeling of her body shifting closer as he circled his arms around her – but he couldn’t, for the life of him, remember how it all had started.

And seeing how it never happened again – why, again, did he feel a pang of disappointment at that? – it felt safe to assume that whatever it was, had already passed.

“Have you ever met any of your relatives other than your mother?”

She shook her head. It would seem that she didn’t even need to consider.

“No, I can’t remember meeting anyone else,” she spoke, voice somewhat pensive.

“Didn’t your mother ever really mention other family members? Her father, maybe? A brother?”

Even in the darkness, he could see her eyes narrow and her frown deepen.

“Why are you asking me about this?”

Well, he couldn’t really hide it forever, or could he? Levi considered lying for a moment, brushing it off as something insignificant, but he knew more than well enough that he couldn’t ever get away with that.

First of all, he didn’t like lying, especially not to her – although he wasn’t entirely certain about the reason behind that.

And the second, but decidedly more important part was that it felt like he probably couldn’t even manage to get a lie past her – and not because he considered her objectively witty or sharp, but because he had noticed a long time ago that he couldn’t ever really get _anything_ past her, just like she could never convince him in return by saying anything untrue.

And he knew, because he had tried. And he knew that she had tried too.

But what was he supposed to say if lying wasn’t an option and truth would sound even more unbelievable? He just had to wing it again, didn’t he?

“Mikasa,” he spoke, “I don’t know what’s happening.”

Well, that was, at least, 100% honest.

“I’m having these dreams and it feels like I know these people but I sure as hell don’t.”

Trying to hide his frustration, he combed his fingers through his hair as he grabbed on to the edge of the table. He expected her to question him, to tell him that he needed to sleep, to rest, but instead, she stood there, listened and simply nodded.

“A man whose eyes are similar to mine, his long, black hair tied into a small bun. When he’s nervous, he runs his fingers across his thin moustache.”

She recited it as if reading his thoughts.

He nodded.

His throat was too dry to answer.

“I’ve seen him too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *the districts alongside Wall Maria are yet to be officialy named, so I'm taking some creative liberties here


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the wonderful comments on this story! I'm really excited to see everyone theorizing and coming up with ideas, but I can't really answer for now because I don't want to spoil anything that might come up in future chapters, not even by accident.

**~ Chapter 3 ~**

_She didn’t see the attack coming._

_How could she, when she had been surrounded on all sides?_

_Her left side took the blow, knocking the air out of her chest and sending her body flying. The bastard had broken a rib or two; that much she could tell._

_Grinding her teeth and spitting blood, she strengthened her hold on the hilt of her sword, choosing to ignore the pain numbing her body._

_Oh, how miserable she might have looked, with the broken blade raised against the world._

_But it didn’t matter._

_None of it did._

_She was, after all, the strongest one._

~ ¤ ~

_**The village of Dillion*, a small mining settlement outside of Wall Maria** _

Morning came and Mikasa felt as if she had awakened bloodied and bruised. She groaned in pain, waking Sasha from her peaceful slumber.

It took her a moment to recognise her surroundings. No one could blame her, really, as this was the third inn they had been staying in and she could barely differentiate one room from the other.

She took a deep breath.

All was well.

She was safe in her bed, in this run-of-the-mill mining town whose name she couldn’t even recall.

The room felt cold and she needed to wash up.

~ ¤ ~

“The South is clear,” Connie mused, sticking another piece of bread in his mouth. “We’ve combed the whole place and found nothing, nothing at all that would suggest that we’re dealing with titans here.”

He must’ve been quite hungry, because he clearly didn’t mind the crumbs flying around as he talked. Mikasa watched in silence, studying the face of Captain Levi who had remained unusually unperturbed by the sight.

“The Garrison cleared the west, making sure that there were no titans along the main road,” Armin added, circling a finger above the adequate area on the map.”

“All that’s left is the east and the north,” Jean said, joining the conversation, “but neither of those seem like an ideal place to linger around.” True to his words, his explanation had been accompanied by a deep frown. “To the east, the bogs occupy a considerable part of the region,” he continued, tracing his fingers along the map, “and to the north, we have the forest and the mines and beyond that, it’s just the mountain.”

The Captain nodded, considering those words before making his decision. “We will start from the east and circle back toward the north, go as far as we can but avoid getting too far into the bogs.”

“I still think there’s no titan here on the loose,” Connie said, clicking his tongue, “but I guess being out in the field still beats escorting the nobles around on their afternoon walk. Why can’t we just be assigned to the Queensguard or something? Everyone would be happy with that.”

He looked around, clearly waiting for words of approval, but everyone around the table remained silent.

_Why indeed?_

The question lingered in the air for a while.

~ ¤ ~

Letting the reins loose, Mikasa climbed the hill in a leisurely canter. She had been warned to keep a slow pace around the bogs, especially on horseback. Not too far from her, she saw Sasha doing something similar, arrow notched on her bow. She was determined to kill two birds with one stone and earn their dinner instead of having to pay for it again.

Hunting for titans was a tedious job. Usually, one would only need stand still for long enough, but hunting a titan in hiding was something even the Survey Corps were inexperienced about. Armin had theorized earlier that footprints might be preserved better in the bog, yet it also raised the problem of chasing the ghost of a long-neutralized titan.

There was, in all honesty, no reason to suspect – just like Connie proposed – that a titan was still running around. Their numbers had always been scarce in these parts and according to the official reports, the local Garrison had been proactive in taking care of whatever stragglers they had found roaming the area. Besides, even the official reports had been unusually vague for an issue of such importance.

Suddenly, Mikasa heard movement and saw Armin and Jean make their way towards her, still mounted on their horses.

“Anything here?” Jean asked and Mikasa shook her head. The hilltop gave her a good vantage point, but she found nothing of interest.

Surveying the horizon, she turned her sight to watch the sun slowly make its descent.

“I guess that’s it for today,” Armin concluded with a sigh after moments passed by in silence.

Mikasa nodded. “You go ahead,” she said, pulling the rains and prodding her horse gently into a steady canter. “I will go get Sasha. She went hunting.”

She could tell that Armin wanted to tell her something but she was already on her way downhill and couldn’t understand a word of what he said.

~ ¤ ~

The sun was setting fast and Sasha was still nowhere to be found. Mikasa found her horse idly grazing out in the bog, tied loosely to the fallen trunk of an old tree.

She tried calling for her, but no answer came. Ahead of her, she found a small grove of trees jutting from the earth.

_What was that?_

Somewhere in the dark, she saw light flicker into life. Was that Sasha trying to light a fire?

It wasn’t like the girl to be so reckless.

“Sasha, let’s go!” she called again.

Leaving her horse behind just like Sasha had, Mikasa made her way towards the trees, trying to avoid soaking her boots in the small ponds of water splattered across the terrain.

Was a few rabbits worth of lean meat really worth all this?

Again, she saw the light flicker somewhere in the distance.

“Sasha?”

Carefully placing one foot in front of the other, Mikasa moved deeper beyond the line of slender trees. The light was fading quickly and she needed to find Sasha, find out whatever had happened to her. Was she in trouble?

She could feel the temperature dropping, the air around her suddenly growing cold. It felt as if she had been here before, as if she had walked in the tall grass under the thin canopy. She could still see the light in the distance, faint but persistent, ephemeral but always reborn from the darkness.

She felt tired. No, exhausted.

What was the point of all this? Why did she have to do it?

And then she saw it, it was right in front of her, the light dancing on the water.

Her legs were giving out under her, she could no longer stand.

Dropping onto her knees, her eyes turned toward the quivering mirror in front of her.

Whose features was she seeing there, in the water?

Who was the woman staring back at her?

She reached out to touch her, to understand her reflection better but she shouldn’t have done so.

Something darted out of the water, taking a hold of her arm, grabbing her with unrelenting force and pulling her towards the depth.

Mikasa fought against it, fought with all her might to reclaim her arm and it almost proved futile.

Suddenly, the hold on her broke and she fell back into the grass, chest heaving as she gasped for air, pain still radiating through her arm as if she had been burned.

Sasha was there, holding her, yelling at her but she couldn’t understand a word she said.

_Where was she, again?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *once again, creative liberties and there's actually a pattern here. If you find it, let me know! (:


	4. Chapter 4

**~ Chapter 4 ~**

“You don’t need me to tell you how foolish it was.”

Mikasa nodded. The Captain was right, as usual. What the hell was she thinking, chasing ghosts like that?

“I was worried that Sasha might get lost,” she tried explaining. It was getting terribly late but decidedly not late enough for the Captain to postpone giving Mikasa her much deserved comeuppance.

“So you got lost _yourself_ ,” he concluded the sentence himself, raising an eyebrow.

“You are right,” Mikasa sighed, “I was being reckless.”

She was already in bed, sitting with her back propped against the pillow and the headboard. Still, it didn’t seem like the Captain had been thinking about leaving any time soon. Walking to the corner of the room, he grabbed the rickety old chair there and placed it next to her bedside, seating himself with his arms crossed over his chest.

“Sasha also tells me that you have been hallucinating.”

She narrowed her eyes at that. “I would appreciate it if those… presumptions weren’t included in the official report.” She could feel her throat growing dry.

“You would, wouldn’t you?”

His eyes were fixed on her, silently telling her that he wasn’t planning on letting her off easy. Instead of returning his gaze, she turned her head slightly, staring into the distance.

“It was dark,” she said, trying to convince him just as much as she had been trying to convince herself.

“Mikasa,” he spoke, taking a deep breath, “Show me your arm.”

Suddenly, she felt her fingers curling and her shoulders stiffening. Her arm? Yes, her arm. Why did it make her so scared to simply just reach out, lift the sleeve of her nightshirt and show it to him?

She hesitated and he caught on immediately.

“Mikasa?” There was worry in his voice.

This whole thing made no sense. Frustrated with her inability, Mikasa quickly reached down to her wrist, almost tearing the fabric open as she jerked the cuff of her shirt above her elbow.

Her eyes grew wide in surprise.

And so did his.

Marring her pale white skin, the glaring mark of a ghostly hand remained.

~ ¤ ~

Mikasa watched in silence as Connie and Jean slowly pulled a stretcher from the cart, covered with a white linen sheet. Armin stood next to her, keeping a reassuring hand on her shoulder.

“She’s a local,” he explained to her, “the girl you found in the bogs.”

Mikasa bowed her head in respect as the boys passed them. “Can I see her face?” she asked, brushing a strand of hair sheepishly behind her ear.

Armin gave her a puzzled look, but nodded regardless. “Let’s go inside, then.”

She followed the others into the carriage house, trying to ignore the suspicious looks directed at them from the coming and going townsfolk. For now, only the local members of the garrison had been notified. Truth to be told, the people around these parts didn't seem like the most welcoming kind. The Wings of Freedom carried little meaning for those who never really suffered under the wrath of the titans.

“Not the work of a titan, that much I can tell,” Mikasa heard Connie explaining to the guards. She walked past them, pulling the mantle tighter around her chest for warmth.

Armin was right next to her, offering to peel back the covers instead of letting Mikasa do it herself. "Are you sure you are ready?” he asked, his gaze full of worry.

He didn’t know the half of it.

She only nodded.

She needed to see.

Slowly, Armin revealed the face of the young girl lying lifeless on the table, but Mikasa simply shook her head. “It’s not her,” she whispered, taking a step back.

Suddenly, a face very much unlike the one she had just witnessed invaded her thoughts.

_Dark hair framing a delicate jawline and strong cheekbones, her piercing eyes staring into her soul. Her lips were painted red, like the blood on her hands._

She turned around, wanting to leave the room as soon as possible. She heard Armin calling out to her but she didn’t react. She needed some air.

She couldn’t even see him coming, she only felt a strong grip taking hold of her.

“Mikasa,” Captain Levi called, “what’s going on?”

The world suddenly shifted into focus and she found herself staring into his eyes, not unlike the moment she had found herself awakening in his arms on the mountain. “It’s not her,” she whispered, bowing her head low.

He regarded her for a second before nodding. “Let’s go upstairs,” he offered, loosening his grip on her hips and snaking an arm around her waist instead.

~ ¤ ~

_The night was cold but it no longer bothered her. Wearing his robes for comfort, she could smell his scent surrounding her as she listened to him telling the tales of his youth. She watched his lips curl into a mischievous smile each time he paused, waiting for her to urge him to continue._

_At court, he was a man of few words, withdrawn from gossip and intrigue, speaking only when he found his audience worthy of conversation. His smile, the smile that made her heart flutter, however, was only for her._

Mikasa blinked and the world around her slowly settled into place.

She was staring at Captain Levi, who in turn, held her wrists in an iron grip, probably shaking her hard enough to make her finally come to her senses.

“Mikasa,” he said, voice full of concern, “this is not a joke.”

She shook her head, trying to focus. No, it truly wasn’t. They were in her room, with the door still slightly ajar. Had they just stepped inside?

“You need to tell Armin about these hallucinations,” the Captain ordered, sighing when he finally realized that she was herself again.

“I don’t think they are…” she whispered, suddenly very much aware of how dry her mouth felt, “I don’t think they are hallucinations, Captain,” she declared with newfound confidence. “I think they are memories.”

Captain Levi tilted his head to the side, finally withdrawing his hands.

“I don’t know whose memories they are,” she continued, closing the distance quickly between them, “but maybe there is a way to find out.”

“Why are you looking at me like that?” he asked, eyebrow rising in suspicion.

Mikasa wasn’t entirely sure either. She had no idea why these things were happening to her, but she at least knew for certain how they had started…

“I will take any punishment you see fit if this doesn’t work out,” she said, grabbing a fistful of his shirt and jerking him forward.

Levi’s eyes opened wide but he didn’t have the time to protest as her lips quickly found their way to his, silencing him for good.

~ ¤ ~

When she finally opened her eyes, she could feel the winds weeping around her, tearing mercilessly at her hair and her clothes. Levi was there too, their hands interlocked, and maybe he seemed even more confused than she was.

It was dark out there, with pure white snow under their feet glimmering in the moonlight. Or was it sand? She couldn’t truly decide. She couldn’t see further than the ranks of featureless white trees surrounding them, closing them off from the rest of the world and guiding them on the narrow path.

“What’s this place?” she heard him ask, his voice echoing all around.

She had no idea, but she felt that it didn’t really matter at all.

“Look,” she called, pointing into the distance where she saw the figure of a woman beckoning, her white dress and long, dark hair dancing in the night.

The wind suddenly stopped and silence descended on them.

“Let’s go,” Mikasa prompted, but Levi wouldn’t budge. He looked as if frozen in time, his skin ice-cold, his mouth agape.

“What’s wrong?” she asked, placing her palm on his forearm.

_Was that a tear she saw sliding down his cheek?_

The moment was suddenly broken and she found herself back in the village, surrounded by the walls of her small room, with Levi’s shaking body wrapped in her arms.

“Mikasa, what’s going on?” she heard a familiar voice ask.

Snapping her head to the door, she found Armin standing there, horrified.

She quickly turned back towards the Captain, but he too looked as if he had seen a ghost.

What the hell has she done?


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, I apologise for taking so much time with this update. There was something about this story that I just couldn't find the way around. I'm thankful, however, for all the support you have been giving. The comments/reviews on this story have proven to be a much more positive force than my self-doubt. I'll certainly reply to everyone, although it will take some time for me to get there. Please know that your support has been extremely helpful and is very much appreciated!

**~ Chapter 5 ~**

“Can I be honest with you, Captain?”

With a heavy sigh, Levi tore his gaze from the window. “What is it, Jean?” he asked, setting his teacup carefully on the table before returning his attention to the rainclouds slowly passing by. It was just the two of them sitting in the dining hall, sitting and waiting for the rain to finally let up.

Jean considered his words for a few more seconds before speaking. “I don’t like this,” he stated, eyes fixated on his hands as he twirled the old, dented teaspoon between his fingers. “I don’t like this at all,” he concluded.

Levi considered the boy – no, young man – for a moment before nodding. He was ready to hear him out. Besides, it wasn’t like they had anything better to do at the moment…

“People have disappeared,” Jean continued, setting the teaspoon on the table with a heavy sigh. “Disappeared and died,” he added. “The girl we found, she had been missing for who knows how long, and no one, not a single soul could be bothered enough to report it.”

Once again, Levi nodded. Through the window, he watched the people in the village come and go, seemingly unbothered by the cold and damp weather outside.

“There’s supposed be a titan on the loose,” Jean spoke again, “and no one here could be any less bothered about that either.” He leaned back in his chair, taking a deep breath. “So yeah, Captain, I don’t like whatever it is that’s going on – I don’t like it one bit.” His eyes, unrelenting, bore into Levi’s. “And whatever it is that’s been going on with Mikasa…”

There it was. The cat was finally out of the bag… Levi took this opportunity to turn in his seat and finally face Jean instead of keeping him on the periphery of his vision.

“Have you heard the rumours, Jean?” Levi asked, trying his best to sound chatty and nonchalant. Jean simply blinked in surprise and shook his head and the Captain took it as his cue to continue. “They say that once Wall Maria was lost, the people in the north locked the city gates and refused to leave their home. For years, they remained inside, isolated from the rest of the world until we have finally reclaimed the Walls.”

He watched as Jean swallowed, his nerves clearly affected by the eerie tone Levi had used.

“How did they survive?” Jean asked, although it seemed very much like he wasn’t eager to receive an answer to his question.

“Who knows,” Levi replied, shrugging. He waited for a long moment before picking up with his story, letting Jean’s imagination run wild. “Some people speculate that with the titans moving between Wall Rose and Wall Maria, the outside became much safer and small villages like this came to exist years before the official reunification finally came to pass.”

Reaching up to rub at his temples, Jean reacted with a quiet groan. “Fantastic. But that still doesn’t explain why we are here.” He paused for a moment and quickly added with a frown: “and don’t tell me it’s because of some invisible, untraceable titan.”

Levi, against his better judgement, found himself smirking. Jean didn’t really need his help untangling the thought itself, he just needed someone to listen to his rumblings. Thus, Levi remained silent as he refilled his cup and waited for the brat to continue.

“No one here admits to seeing the titan,” Jean grumbled, taking the kettle from the Captain and refilling his own cup. “They don’t seem to be afraid of it either. Who on earth isn’t afraid of a titan?!”

He was getting riled up, Levi could tell. Still, as long as Jean was busy trying to break this bone open, he wasn’t pestering him about other problems – problems that walked on two long, shapely legs.

“So,” Levi spoke with a sigh, “Inspector Kirschtein, what does that tell you?”

To his teasing, Jean reacted with a surprised grimace. Inspectors were officers in the Military Police, clearly not someone a member of the Survey Corps would proudly associate with. Jean shook his head, trying to recollect his thoughts. “The locals didn’t report it,” he mused. “Report came through the Capital, so the Garrison didn’t report it either.”

Levi brushed his fingers through his hair. “Someone wants us here,” he spoke, tone even and calm.

“Doesn’t that bother you?” Jean asked, crossing his arms. “You told us you picked this mission because you were bored.”

There was some tension in the air, Levi could tell. “I picked it on a hunch,” he admitted, confirming that he, in fact, had been truthful all along. “Saw the report on the desk and decided it was worth checking out.” He shook his head a little before biting down his lower lip in annoyance. “I thought it would do the team some good,” he explained, “a change in scenery, or whatever the fuck it’s called.”

He wasn’t planning to curse but there was certainly no taking it back.

“By team,” Jean cut in, narrowing his eyes and propping his elbows on the table, “did you mean, by chance, Mikasa?”

Levi wanted to groan. He underestimated Kirschtein. “And Armin,” he tried shrugging it off. “Those two have been acting all sullen and miserable.”

That statement seemed to have pacified Jean, at least to some extent. He nodded and started scratching the back of his neck. It was common knowledge that being separated from Eren has turned Armin jumpy and Mikasa anxious, and as time passed by, their duties would often set the members of the trio on different paths.

Once again, Jean opened his mouth to react, but for some reason, decided to keep it shut. Levi gave him enough time to reconsider. There were things he wasn’t eager to talk about but as far as his team was concerned, he was fully intent on remaining accountable.

“I’m worried about her,” Jean finally admitted with a sigh. “She hasn’t been acting like herself.”

For a moment, Levi considered putting him on the spot and asking him to elaborate. He didn’t truly need to, he was well aware of the unrest Mikasa’s little stunt on the mountain had caused, yet he still felt a small, unexplainable pull to just lay his cards on the table and rub the whole thing in the kid’s face. Had he been his younger, bolder self, he would’ve done it without question but the way things were, he only huffed at his own arrogance.

“Do you remember what prompted it?” Levi asked, taking a more cautious approach than what his ego and pride suggested. He left the question open, allowing Jean to fill in the blanks.

Taken aback by the directness of his question, Jean blushed. Naturally, the first thing he must’ve thought of was the kiss. For another short moment, Levi entertained the thought of adding ‘the first one’ to his sentence but once again decided against it.

It was neither the time nor the place for a pissing contest.

“Who knows,” Jean grumbled. “She had been acting normal before…” he stopped, hesitating, “before it happened.” He tried shrugging it off but Levi could still see the tell-tale signs of embarrassment woven into his features.

With Jean backed into a corner, Levi felt that it was the perfect time to finally squeeze him for a bit more information. On account of his pride, he had refused to interrogate the people present at the… occurrence. Admitting that he too had no idea would’ve made him look irresponsible on one hand and an idiot on the other. But now, now he finally had a chance to learn something new.

“Do you remember what brought it on?” He almost used the phrase ‘triggered’ but quickly swayed his course.

Still feeling somewhat intimidated, Jean shook his head. “I don’t know, she’s been gazing at the sky, all sullen and broody, then you told her something and…” once again, he hesitated, looking for the right word, “and she looked at you and just… boom.”

There had to be more than that – but for now, Levi was ready to let go of the issue. He nodded and turned his eyes back towards the window, letting Jean know that he was off the hook.

There were a number of things he needed to consider.

~ ¤ ~

Minutes passed and hours flew by as the clouds stubbornly refused to part. By the time dinner had been served frustration seemed to have claimed everyone. One by one, the members of the team gathered around the table, taking their seats in silence as the air grew sour with unspoken thoughts and heavy tension.

There was only one way to resolve the situation.

“Mikasa,” Levi called, determined to face the inevitable. At the sound of his voice, the girl’s posture stiffened. She had been avoiding him - and not without reason.

Levi was also well aware of the questioning look Armin had shot him but he decided to ignore it for now.

“Mikasa,” he started again, in a somewhat softer tone, “I think the others need to know about what’s going on.”

Her eyes betrayed her exhaustion. She looked around, considering his words for a moment. With a sigh, she nodded her approval and turned her gaze towards Armin, almost pleadingly. Armin, in turn, coughed a little, as if something had gotten stuck in his throat.

“Well,” the boy spoke, clearly stalling for enough time to gather his thoughts, “this is a bit awkward.” Naturally, all eyes turned towards him, eyes mirroring worry, excitement and curiosity. “The thing is,” Armin tried again, this time with more confidence, “that Mikasa has somehow acquired the ability to access...” he paused for a moment, once again looking for the right word, “to access people’s memory,” he concluded.

Gasps and other sounds of confusion filled the room.

“We don’t know why or how it’s happening,” Armin continued, waving at the others to remain quiet, “our best guess is that it has something to do with her heritage, or more precisely the Ackerman bloodline.”

Levi winced as suddenly all eyes turned towards him. He was certainly having second thoughts now. “Something like that,” he grumbled, shrugging. Naturally, it wasn’t nearly enough to swing the conversation back towards Armin. “Don’t look at me, brats, I don’t know shit about this.”

Clearly, they needed more convincing. After all, Levi’s parentage had always remained a touchy issue. He was willing to share the information with his team about his relations to Kenny – and Mikasa, as a consequence – but he was certainly unwilling to entertain the “why”, “how” and “what ifs”, an opinion even Mikasa seemed to share, much to Hange’s chagrin.

With every minute passing by, the proverbial ice in the room only seemed to have thickened. With nothing else to do, people turned to their plates as an excuse, waiting for the tension to somehow magically resolve itself.

“So,” Connie abruptly spoke, throwing his knife on the table, “can you read my mind, Mikasa?”

Suddenly, everyone – and everything – stopped. Sasha’s mouth hung open while Jean’s hand remained suspended in mid-air, his spoon dripping from the large scoop of gravy it held.

Mikasa narrowed her eyes a little, blinked, then shook her head. “I think,” she poke, voice quiet, “I think I can only see things that have already happened.”

Connie nodded, a wide grin spreading on his face. “It’s probably better that way.”

Mikasa simply rolled her eyes while Armin chuckled a little. “It’s just a theory,” he explained, “but I think Mikasa can only connect to the people she is related to.”

Connie’s eyes only grew wider. “So does that mean you can get into his head?” and with that, he pointed directly at the Captain. He probably expected her to shake her head again, but when no answer came, he gave an excited whistle. “That’s wicked,” he exclaimed.

However, he didn’t get to finish whatever he had intended, because Armin quickly interrupted - probably for the best. For the next twenty minutes or so, he tried his best to explain whatever little he had managed to gather, but frequent interruptions from Connie and Sasha made his efforts nigh impossible. Soon, dinner turned into enthusiastic theory-crafting, easing the pressure on both Mikasa and Levi a little by directing creative energy – and attention – elsewhere. Albeit reluctantly, even Jean joined the conversation every now and then to represent the voice of reason.

After a while, the conversation simply faded to background noise as Levi chose to observe their surroundings instead, turning to stare out of the window and into the darkness.

On the fringes of his vision, he was alerted to movement only to find Mikasa leaving the table. For a moment, he thought that she would avoid his gaze like she had been doing all day, but from beyond Armin’s back he could see her eyes slowly travelling to him.

There was something she wanted to say, he could instantly feel the intent and the message behind the gesture and nodded in silent acknowledgement.

~ ¤ ~

By the time everyone had left, it had grown quite late.

From his seat, Levi stared into the hearth and watched the embers smoulder, shivering slightly as he felt the warmth slowly dissipating from the room as the wind picked up, shaking the old, rickety folding shutters.

He could barely hear her footsteps as she made her way downstairs.

“I’m sorry,” she said standing in the shadows, her voice quiet and uncertain, “for springing it on you like that.”

He nodded, accepting her apology. “You should be sleeping,” he mused, “you look exhausted.” Truth to be told, in the darkness, he could barely see her features. Regardless, he pulled a chair for her, lifting it off the floor in a quiet and effortless motion.

She lowered her body without a word, pulling the wide, knitted shawl she wore up north for warmth and comfort tighter around her chest. “I don’t want to sleep,” she whispered. “If I sleep,” she continued, “the dreams will come too.”

Once again, he only nodded. He knew very well what she had been talking about – and she too was more than well aware that he understood.

“I will keep watch,” he offered, voice barely a whisper.

She hummed, shaking her head. “You need to sleep too,” she stated, her tone now sharper. Was she trying to reprimand him? The thought amused him.

“If I sleep,” he said, resting his head against her shoulder, “the dreams will come too.”

At that, she hummed again.


End file.
